


we got carried away

by humanluke



Series: 5sos prompts [17]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:34:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29448597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanluke/pseuds/humanluke
Summary: luke wants to remember. calum wants to forget.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Calum Hood
Series: 5sos prompts [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019475
Kudos: 2





	we got carried away

“Stop being a fucking dick.”

Calum looks up from his phone, brow furrowed as he looks up at Luke. He isn’t sure what’s warranted this, caused him to approach him so fully, so boldly like this. He sets his phone down on the table in front of him, leaning back in his chair as he looks over Luke’s expression, drinking in the way his own brow is furrowed, and there’s a look in his blue eyes that Calum can’t think of a word to describe.

“I’m sorry?” It’s a perfectly valid inquiry -- he’s unsure of what he’s done to be accused so harshly of being a dick. Luke huffs, sliding across from him at the table. He’s looking him over sternly, but he also looks like he’s fishing for the words that he wants to say.

“You’ve been a dick to me all week,” he says. “Ever since--”

“Don’t.” Calum cuts him off before he can get any further. “That never happened, Luke.” He picks his phone back up off of the table, trying to get the memories of what he’d just dug back up out of his head. The drunken feeling of skin on skin, of lips against each other, the sound of his name echoing in the hotel room, sounding like music off of his tongue -- he had to cut his own thoughts off, trying to distract himself with twitter or instagram or anything that wasn’t Luke.

“You’re the one who started this,” Luke says bitterly, leaning across the table a little. Calum pointedly ignores him, not wanting to stir up the emotions again. “You can’t just do something like that with me and then think I can just forget, think that I’m not going to care--”

“Well, I don’t care,” Calum says, and his voice is cold and calculated as he lets his eyes fall back on Luke’s. He winces at how vulnerable and hurt Luke looks, but tries to keep his cool demeanor up. He can’t let this happen, has to forget that anything had happened at all. Otherwise they would both regret it. “You know it’s better this way, Luke.”

“Who decided that?” The amount of venom in his voice has increased, and Calum thinks again how it was a mistake to drink that night, to let Luke in. He wishes he could go back in time, stop anything from happening. Save them both the trouble that they were having right now. “Who said it would be better? Who said I didn’t want that, or didn’t want you, Calum?” His voice became more hushed so not to be overheard, but the anger was escalating with every breath.

“Doesn’t matter what we want,” Calum says, and he’s suddenly soft, withdrawn. The calm exterior has cracked, and he looks at Luke again. “You know this isn’t okay. You know that we can’t let it happen. Too much is at stake -- we have to think of the band, of everything else.”

“Fuck the band,” Luke says, a little too loud for his liking, and Calum waves off any confused or concerned looks from Michael and Ashton. He didn’t need to drag them into the heat of this, to tangle them in the complicated web of feelings that he’d woven with Luke. He pushes his chair out from the table, pulling on his jacket.

“Let’s discuss this outside,” he says softly, taking out his pack of cigarettes as a good excuse. Not that he needed an excuse, but this was making him want another cigarette. Too many feelings were overwhelming, and he needed the fresh air.

Once he was leaned against the building, cigarette dangling from his fingertips again, Luke joined him. He looked less irritated now, his expression now just taken over by sadness. Calum sighed as he took a drag, trying to replace the air in his lungs with smoke. He’d much rather choke on this than the emotions that were threatening to bubble up.

“I just wanted us to be happy,” Luke says softly, looking over at him. “You know? I wanted one thing for me, for us. I thought we could be happy.” Calum exhaled the smoke from his lungs, missing the comfort of the burning feeling in his chest.

“You will be happy, Luke,” Calum says softly. He flicks some ashes off the end of his cigarette, looking over at him with sad brown eyes. “I know you will be. But I can’t be that person for you. And you know that.” He sighs again. “That night was a mistake. You and I both know it. And I’m sorry if it makes me a dick, or whatever choice words you have for me. But things are better that way for us.” Luke kicks at some rocks on the ground, and he admires Calum for a beat. He wishes he had an escape, an outlet like he did. He just runs fingers through his blond curls, leaning back against the cool brick of the building.

“I know,” Luke says. He’s finally seemed to grasp the fact that happiness for him and happiness for Calum were not synonymous. For that, Calum was grateful. “Just wishful thinking.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “Can I have one last thing before we forget it all?” His voice is small, almost scared as Calum looks over to him.

“Just one,” he allows, turning to look at him. Luke shuffles closer to him, and his hand caresses his cheek as he leans in and kisses him. It’s soft, and gentle, but warm and passionate and Calum’s whole body melts at the feeling. He screws his eyes shut as he feels Luke pull away, knowing he won’t want to look at him when he goes. He won’t be able to stop him.

“Thank you for everything,” he says softly. “I’ll see you on stage.” Calum doesn’t look back up until he hears the door shut leading back into the venue, and he lets out a shaky breath that he’d been holding since Luke’s lips left his. He brings the cigarette back to his lips among the silent tears he let fall, and wishes he could disappear into the smoke.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://cakelftv.tumblr.com)!


End file.
